All That Glitters Is Not Gold
by trendyfishie89
Summary: Leather pants, David Bowie, and Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds. Makes for a glamtastic night! Remus breaks out his bad boy self. Slash RL/SB. Warning: Mention of drug use. And chocolate lip gloss.


Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it…too bad.

Un-Betad!!

Beware of glam and all things fab! (That was terrible.)

All that Glitters (Is Not Gold):

Remus wondered how he always manages to get himself into these messes. It hadn't always been like this; he used to be the perfect little angel. He did his homework, he only missed class when absolutely necessary, he never cursed, and always ironed his clothes. But now, Remus shook his head, now I'm a complete wreck.

Remus grunted and tried to get his trousers to go higher than his thighs. How could these even come close to being his size? But Sirius had assured him that they were a perfect fit.

"Perfect fit my ass. If these are my size I will eat Snape's underwear." Remus muttered as he pulled again. He winced as a tiny rip was heard. Oh, dear.

Remus gave a tremendous sigh and pulled the trousers off. He glanced down at himself critically, resolved to lose ten pounds, and pulled the acceptable underwear off with much trepidation. He pulled the troublesome trousers on once more, scowling as the trousers went slightly above where they had stopped last time and then didn't budge.

"Shit."

He settled himself in for the Battle of Wits. It was him versus the trousers. He was going to win no matter the cost. He was going to do this for Sirius. Remus heaved and hoed and fell backwards onto the red covers of his bed.

"Shit."

Remus hemmed and hawed and tugged and pulled. He rolled around frantically, trying to get the "goddamn" trousers on. He paused, breathing hard, glared at the oak floorboards, stood, gave one almighty yank, and then…the trousers slid into place.

'Shit."

He plopped onto the bed with a relieved sigh. The war was won and he had proved triumphant!

"Now all you have to do is button them."

"SHIT!" yelled Remus as he slid onto the floor in shock. James Potter laughed and moved to help his woebegone friend up off the floor.

"How long were you standing there?" Remus asked, taking the large hand offered.

"The entire time. It proved very entertaining. I never knew you cursed under pressure."

"Shut up, you stupid berk."

"You want some help?" asked James, grinning. Remus growled under his breath and shook his head. He put his hand down to the buttons and managed to get the first and second one's done. He pulled at the third with a grunt. Remus tugged again and again to no avail. James leant against the bedpost and looked amused. James, of course, was completely dressed already and had encountered no problems.

"Shit. Fine. You win. Help."

"You have to say the magic word, Moony."

"Avada Kedavra." Remus grunted with a few heartless tugs on the offending button.

"Aw, that's not nice. Come on, Moonpie. Budge over." James stepped up to Remus moving his hands away. Remus sighed and dropped his hands to James's forearms.

"If I would have known that getting dressed for this would be so taxing I would have said no."

James gave a small smile, "Now you're lying. You wouldn't have said no to Sirius even if he wanted you to jump off the Astronomy Tower. There, you're done."

"Thanks. Now, we're ready to move on."

"At least the shirt won't be so hard, right?"

/page break/

Remus felt ridiculous. No, scratch that, he felt ludicrous. He was standing in clothing that left nothing to the imagination and was covered in facial stuff. It was all- together rather demanding and he didn't feel as though he could go through with it.

Although, the way Sirius was staring at him it might just be worth it. Remus moved down the stairs, the troublesome trousers moving with him. They weren't so bad once you got used to them. Sirius did have nice taste; the caramel brown leather was butter soft and the soft gold muscle shirt fit like a glove. It was rather nice if one got past the pound of make-up on his face. Why James felt the need to slap everything under the sun on him, Remus didn't know. The frightening thing was that James knew how to apply it. Even as gay as Remus was he had no idea what to do with a bronzer!

The gold, Egyptian-like, eye shadow was lovely and the bronze powder had given him an actual skin tone, so maybe it wasn't all bad.

"I know I look ridiculous. I probably look like a whore of some…" Remus was cut off as Sirius stepped forward and pressed warm lips against his own. Remus sank into the warm black leather jacket that Sirius was wearing and decided that maybe, just maybe, he should wear these trousers more often.

/page break/

Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius flirted with the bouncer that inhabited the doorway. That wasn't going to work. Bouncers were immune to such frivolous pleasantries. It was practically a qualification to become a bouncer: must have no sexuality whatsoever.

Ten minutes later and they were in. The Newcastle performance hall had been decorated to the nines. There were hundreds of people dressed like him and others were even more flamboyant. It was startling to see how closely they all resembled circus clowns.

"Oh, Merlin. I'm so excited." Sirius bounced up and down on the balls of his feet.

"We would never have known," drawled James, arching an eyebrow.

"Fuck off, Potter. This is my night and I get to be as excited as I want. Right, Remmie?"

"Hmm? Oh, sure."

"Please try to contain yourself, Black. I didn't agree to buy the tickets for you to act like a complete berk." Lily called as she swung her straightened hair out behind her. James had been ecstatic when she agreed to go with him to the concert. He didn't know that Sirius had bribed her with her own ticket, free of charge.

"How can I possibly contain myself?! I'm going to see David fucking Bowie!" There was a great uproar of "cheers!" at Sirius's exclamation; many of the people here felt the same.

James was, understandably, unimpressed. Having nearly no interaction with the muggle world made sure that he held no true affection for David Bowie. The man was a good performer in Remus's opinion, once you got past the disastrous costumes. Remus was happy to be there, but couldn't care less.

Sirius and Lily were the true Glam fans. Sirius was wearing every piece of leather and mesh he owned and then some. He also wore a lovely chocolate flavored lip-gloss, but only Remus knew that. Lily had on the rattiest pair of dark denims known to mankind. They had holes and tears and frayed edges, plus paint spattered everywhere. She was lucky they hadn't fallen apart on the walk up. Her shirt was a green corset and black mesh mess. It was barely covering anything! James loved it to pieces, but Remus would never be able to look at his fellow prefect the same way again.

/page break/

Remus fell onto his bed, exhausted. That was one awesome concert and one of the best nights of his life. No one had questioned Remus or Sirius when they danced together and no one had given them disgusted looks when they kissed. It was brilliant and he hadn't wanted it to end. Not even Slughorn catching them had doused the evening, or early morning as the case had been.

Remus grinned as he felt the bed dip once more and a warm hand crawled across his abdomen. A low chuckle accompanied the warm kisses pressed to his neck. The wandering hands turned south as a wet mouth sucked on the skin in front of it.

"You're still high, aren't you?"

"Yeah." Sirius mumbled against the mouthful of skin he had a hold off. They didn't call it Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds for nothing, thought Remus. Remus turned in the arms that held him and gave the slightly fuzzed cheek a quick nuzzle.

"You know the rules, puppy. No playtime when you're high."

"Shit."

A/N: So what did'ya think? It's a little more raunchy than normal for me, but oh well.


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